Saturday, 22 September 2012

SAHM Saturday: Loving your Kids.

Lately I have been struggling a lot with being Sam's step mom. I suddenly have a lot more respect for those fairy tale step moms who fall and mess it up, because it is so easy. 

Because it's not always moments like these: 

Sometimes we definitely have moments like these: 

I find that sometimes I have a very bad attitude when dealing with Sam. Usually this happens when he's tired and argumentative, and I'm tired and cranky.  Which with being 7 months pregnant and him just starting school... happens a lot these days. 

Suddenly all those things that drive me crazy... he seems to do all that much more, and I respond worse and worse to them happening. I get snappy and vindictive, and he pushes more because he's hurt by me being so snappy. 

It's a truly vicious cycle. 

Now, this does not make Sam right. Children are supposed to obey their parents. 

'Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.'
Ephesians 1:6

But parents are supposed to treat their children with love and not entice them to wrath. 

'And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord' 
Ephesians 6:4 

'Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged' 
Colossians 3:21

I have been reflecting this past day about what that means. Don't entice your children to wrath. When I was a kid, I thought this meant my parents could never tell me no. Because it would make me angry. But that's not what this verse means at all. 

It means something much more important, and something much harder than simply giving in to your child's every demand. 

It means learning to keep a proper attitude, even your child is driving you crazy. It means getting to know your child intimately, knowing their hopes and dreams and fears. It means knowing their interests, and making them your interests too, just to spend time with them. It means loving them even you really don't want to. It means knowing when saying no is the right thing to do, and when it's just you being vindictive. It's knowing when to discipline them, and how to do it lovingly and without anger. It's being sensitive to their opinions and feelings when making decisions that impact them. It's treating them with respect as fellow human beings. 

And most of all, it's guiding them towards Christ with your attitude and conduct. Because you, more than anyone else in that childs life, influence them. They watch you, more closely than you can imagine. 

For all those parents out there who struggle with attitude, pray about it! God promises to give the grace for any situation, that includes raising and dealing with your children. I know I certainly will be praying for abundant grace in the next.. oh say... 15 years. :)

PS: Kudos to my husband who pointed this out to me and started this train of thought.


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