A Big Difference: Expression of Anger and Expression of Sin

Lately I have seen a whole bunch of quotes that look an awful lot like this one: 

"We expect children to never have bad days, never be grouchy, never lose your temper. Yet we do this all the time, why do we expect things of them we don't expect of ourselves?" 

On the surface, this is a great quote, but something about it bothered me when I first read it, and now I have finally realized the issue with this train of thought. 

Yes, children have bad days, and yes, children get grouchy, and they lose their temper. But there is a big, big difference between someone having a bad day, and someone using that bad day as an excuse to sin. My problem is not when my daughter has a bad day, my problem is when my daughter has a bad day that leads to her being sinful. 

The other day, Wiggle woke up very grouchy. None of us know why, she just did. So we let her be grouchy, but throughout the day I corrected the sinful behaviour that came from her being upset. She threw her toys when told 'no'. She got corrected. She hit me when she decided that I was mean for not sharing my food, I corrected her. She got down on the ground and threw a hissy fit, I corrected her. Do you  notice something? I didn't correct her for having a bad day, I didn't correct her for being choosey about what she ate, or for not smiling enough. 

I chose to correct the attitudes that were sinful. Because these things aren't things that are ok for me or her. Why would I let my child get away with something sinful and give them the excuse "Well they had a rough night last night so she's tired today?" God doesn't give the order "Be angry and sin not... unless you're really tired, then it's ok." 

As parents, our job is not to coddle our children into  spoiled young adults who expect the world given to them, and expect people to understand they had a bad day and that's why they're mad. Our job is help them grow in Christ, and that means that we hold their attitudes and actions to Gods standard. And yes, we will make mistakes, and the battle seems kinda uphill a lot of the time, but that doesn't mean we don't do it. This world seems to be under the impression that because it's 'natural' it must be right. This is completely contrary to what God says. He says our very natures are sinful, and thus our 'natural' is wrong. Why would I for one second not help my child step towards Christ for the sake of her attitude being 'natural'? I won't. I will push my child to dwell in his shadow, in the warmth of his wings. Even if it means correcting her behaviour when she's tired and grouchy, because while anger is ok, sin is not. 

With Flash we have had this problem previously, and here is how to we dealt with it. 

1. We made it clear that attitude is a choice. 

Sure, you can wake up feeling stinky, but that doesn't mean you need to have a bad attitude about it. Contrary to what most people think, if you honestly decide that you're going to be happy today, you most likely will. Your attitude is determined by you. This applies to children as well. 

2. We laid out a plan for  him to deal with this anger.

If Flash was having a bad day, we would tell him whenever he felt angry, he could have some time to go to his room and calm down, and when he was ready to talk nicely we would listen. This left the responsibility to deal with his anger on him, and thus if  he chose to not calm down, the consequence of his anger was  justified. 

3. We didn't tolerate excuses or "Well he!"'s.

So often you see people make excuses for their anger "Well he was mean" or "Well then he shouldn't act like____." This is just plain old stupid. The Bible doesn't say be angry and sin not unless someone else irritates you, does it? No. So with Flash we have a no excuses policy. I don't care what he did, I care how you reacted. 

4. We apologized if we reacted in anger ourselves.

When I was a child there seemed to be this stigma on parents apologizing to children,  as if apologizing and admitting you were wrong was somehow going to undermine authority. But it doesn't. Having a double standard does. If you react in anger, apologize to your child and admit you were wrong it will go a long way. 

5. We always give an outlet for talk.

If Flash wants to talk, we are always there to listen to him about why he's angry. If it was something we did that we were wrong in, we fixed it, if it was something we did and he didn't like, we explained why it had to be that way. Never discount your childs opinion, this will just make them feel undervalued. But be clear that you are the parent and the final decision will always be yours.

- Adele

Image Credit: 

"Grumpy Child" by Clare Bloomfield found at freedigitalphotos.com

When You Are Overwhelmed: When everything is falling apart

If you're a parent... you've been there. Those days when it seems nothing is going right. 

The baby won't stop screaming, you're covered in pee or other bodily fluids, the toddler is throwing a hissy fit, and you can just feel the judgemental stares of that little old lady following you as you try to bounce one and get the other under control, and neither is working. 

Yeah. We've all been there. 

For me lately it's been hard. Miah's colicy, which means he screams for hours. With  no real reason. Lately people have started calling this "Purple crying." I don't care what it is... it is horrible. 

Add that to the fact that I am the only person in the world he won't take a soother from, and the only person who can't calm him down, no matter what I do... And Miah is a tough nut to crack. 

Wiggles has just started her jealous phase. As soon as I nurse Miah, or Caleb holds him... she hits him. Hard. With no warning. The problem is sometimes she's gentle and loving and we want to encourage that, so we can't just keep him constantly out of reach. Her little personality has really developed over the last little bit. She's opinionated, stubborn, and is 1 going on 13 I swear.

My house is never clean anymore. I gave up on it. There are ground up soda crackers in the carpet, and baby clothes scattered everywhere cause Wiggles loves to play with them, and somehow it always seems that dishes are never fully done.

Combine all this with sleep deprivation, and you have one very overwhelmed Mama.

But here's somethings to remember for all of you in the same boat I am. 

God understands.

I know, I know, some of you are sitting here thinking "Really Adele, really?" But no everyone, hear me out. When you are in the midst of a tandem screaming session and neither baby wants to be calmed, or your toddler is freaking out and the baby needs to be nursed and you can't fix both... It seems like you are all alone. It feels like no one understands how tired and frustrated and inadequate you feel. 

God does. 

Cry out to him for wisdom, for strength, for patience, and he'll give it! Take your heart ache before your heavenly Father and he promises that he will meet your needs. Trying to get through this challenging time without the Lord is a bad idea. This is not the time to pull away from God, but rather a time to draw every nearer to him. 

This is only for a season.

Your baby won't always be up all night screaming, and colic eventually goes away. That toddler will develop some manners and will learn obedience if you use some persistence and care. One day that baby will rock himself to sleep and you will sleep through the night again. 

This will not last forever. Everything will adjust itself out eventually, you just gotta wait it out. That blissful six months stage is coming! 

You are the best possible thing for your children right now.

It's so tempting when you're overwhelmed to think "I bet (insert other mothers name), would be better for my kids." Or it's tempting to have thoughts of running away or giving up. 

Oh Mama... you are the very best thing for your child right now. No one knows them like you, probably not even your husband knows them like you. Yes, it seems like you are the last person they need. It seems like you're never going to get this right, but think of it this way. 

These babies are taking the time to voice that something is wrong. Because they trust you to be able to fix it. 

They know that when you are near, the bad things go away. Maybe they just need a cry, and know that in the safety of your arms... they can vulnerable. This is especially true of older babies.

Don't let doubt take away the knowledge that your children where given to you by God for a purpose. Not to anyone else, you. God thought you were the best thing they needed, and don't you forget it. 

Give yourself a break.

I bet you are your hardest critic.

Sorry to break it to you darlin'... but you're human. Trying to meet the needs perfectly of yet another human. Neither of you is perfect, and one of you has limited to no verbal communication skills. Of course you're occasionally going to have problems! 

You don't have to be the perfect mom. Nope, nope you don't. In fact, you can't be. 

Sometimes the baby will cry, and it's ok to just let them... cry. And sometimes the toddler will be freaking out for no reason you can find again, and it's ok to bribe them with a cookie and hope that that solves whatever problem they're having. 

Sometimes being a good mom is saying "I don't know what to do anymore, so I'm going to walk away before I do something I regret." 

Sometimes being a good mom is giving yourself a break and saying "I'm human too, and I'm  not gonna be able to do this perfectly, but I can do my best and God will take care of the rest." 

Most of all.. You are a great mom. Don't let anyone, including yourself, say otherwise.

Meet 'Miah!

Hey everyone! SO! Baby number three/two? 

(Let's say three, since he's my third child even if only my second birth. :) ) 

He's here! 

'Miah was born on Dec 1/2013 at 11:23 pm, after 10 hours of labour. He weighed 8 pounds, 12 ounces, and was 21 inches long. 

Flash is a beyond excited big brother. Wiggles still isn't sure how to take him yet, but she's getting there. 

Ok, well that's all for now, things are a little hectic here, 3 days post partum and Wiggles gets a flu. Throwing up and diarrhea, while I try to breast feed a newborn. It's an adventure this week. :) 

- Adele

Preparing for baby number two - Scarier and easier the second time.

So Wiggles is 11 months in 3 days. And we are due in 16 days. I'm a little panicked to say the least. 

But wanna know the surprising part? Yes, it's terrifying. I have NO idea how I'm going to meet Wiggles growing needs now that she's running, climbing stairs, and intensely interested in opening cupboards, AND meet the needs of a newborn. No idea. I can barely keep up with Wiggles now. 

But really? That's the only thing I'm worried about. I'm not worried about if I'm going to horribly scar this one for life. I got through one, I can handle another one. In that way, it's so much easier! With your first baby, you spend so much time worrying about if you're gonna be able to be a parent. I worry about that a lot less with this one. How I'm going to split up my time and not die of exhaustion.. yeah, that worry is there, but if that's all I worry about, that's the least of my problems. :) 

I found a lot of lists for how to get prepped for baby number two focused on children aged 2+. Which is hard for me. Because Wiggles is in a lot different place than a two year old is. Wiggles understands some basic commands, and has like... 5 words consistently(Mama, Dada, Bum, Hi, Yeah or Yey.). Trying to explain to her or prep her for the baby in ways that involve her understanding the changes coming is not going to happen. 

As for Flash, I never really got to SEE his baby phase. I first met him when he was three. :) Now that he's eight(Nearly), it's a lot easier on him to understand that a baby is coming and what that means.

So here is my list of how I personally prepared for baby number two when baby number one is still very little!  

1. Teach your toddler to play on their own a little bit. 

I spent a good portion of the last couple months teaching Wiggles to play on her own for at least an hour or two a day. Wiggles is, like a good portion of babies I've seen, is super social and more than happy to spend all her time snuggling or playing peek a boo, or just sopping up the mommy love.  Problem is, when we start breast feeding and there's a new baby who needs to be rocked and played with too, then this will get harder. So for a couple hours a day, I would put Wiggles on the floor, give her some toys, and let her go for it. Unless she hurts herself(It's tough learning to walk folks!), I pretty much let her be. Turns out this was a great idea, cause it directly led to point number two! 

2. Get that baby walking! 

I know SO many who say that life gets harder once baby starts walking. We found the opposite. Wiggles so wanted to be independent and able to go that the second she could start to walk, she did. 8 1/2 months. Running and stair climbing was next. Yes, it meant we had to safety guard all our cupboards, and our stairs... but you know what? I don't have to carry her everywhere, in fact, she gets mad if I do. Not only will this make things easier when the new baby comes, but it makes things easier when my one bathroom is upstairs and I'm the size of a baby orca. >.> Wiggles follows me upstairs and into the bathroom all on her own, I only have to carry her down, which helps my back. 

Seriously, if you can, get your first baby walking! 

3. Get baby number one on a schedule. A solid one. 

This doesn't mean that at 7:45 you get up, 8:00 is breakfast. Nope. Not what I mean. But your baby should have a good structure of things that they do at the same intervals pretty much every day. 

For example. Wiggles gets up around one of two times: 5 when dad wakes up so she can say hi to him, or 6:45 if she doesn't hear his alarm go off. She has a bottle and diaper change as soon as she wakes up, along with some cheerios or other cereal. Then she plays for about an hour, usually on her own. An hour and a half after she wakes up, she's ready for a nap, which is usually about an hour long. I right now use this play time and sleep time to get my dishes done, fold laundry, and get caught up on my internet work. Once she wakes up, we skype with Grandma about once every two days, we play some interactive games like peek a boo, or a passing game, if she's interested. She'll want another bottle about an hour or so after she wakes up from her nap, but no solids. By noon we're back on track most days. She comes up to me and rubs her eyes and sometimes says "Nini.". She gets put in her high chair, and she takes a 2.5 hour nap. This is my real power house part of the day. I make my menu, finish up my spot cleaning, make my grocery list, craft(If I have the time), get a good chunk of my to do list done. She wakes up usually about a 1/2 hour before dad gets home at 2:30. She then eats dinner with us, finger foods of whatever we're eating. Then she's up until about 7 if we're at home, about 9 if we're not. She gets a bottle with bed, and usually there's another one of juice or water thrown in throughout the day that she sips as she feels like. 

This schedule will help a ridiculous amount in the coming months, as long as we can stick to it. Having something stay the same when everything else changes is important.

4. Get out the baby stuff you just put away.

I know, you just dragged this stuff down into storage and now you're draggin' it back up again. Enjoy it, revel in the memories. :) Get that swing your kid hasn't wanted to be strapped into in months out, get out the swaddling blankets and those itty bitty baby clothes. Cry when you think of your first being that small. Get it all set up. Make these changes in phases so as to not overwhelm your firstborn with a sudden change of decor. Start naming these things "Baby swing." Or in our case "Miah's Swing". Wiggles understands that some things are hers, and some things aren't. This is helpful to her to understand that these things aren't hers. 

5. Stock up on those pantry foods!

The last thing you want to worry about after the baby is born is whether or not you have the food you need to feed your family. So stock up before hand. Take $20 out of each of your grocery budgets(I know, it's a lot for me too, but worth it later.) and stock up on things like pasta sauce, pasta, soups, canned beans, dried beans, Kraft dinner, hot dogs... whatever you gotta do to keep your family fed. Plan for lots of 'easy' meals in those first couple weeks after baby is born. 

6. Get your  hospital bag packed/Set up arrangements for baby #1, and pack their bag. 

I struggled with this one. I'm 37 weeks and 4 days.. and still no hospital bag packed. >.> It's kinda like admitting that yes, this is gonna happen, and I'm ready. I'm not ready yet. :P So I'm putting it off. But it's important that you have your bag packed well ahead of time. Make a list of things you'll need in your bag, and then get crackin'! (I'll make a post in the next couple days about what's in my bag). 

You also need to set up with someone to take your first when you go into labour, and pack them an overnight bag. Now, there will be some things in each bag you need to pack kinda as you run out the door. :) Make a list of these that is easy for your partner to understand and clothes pin or safety pin it in an easy to see spot on the bag so he can just grab what's needed and then go. 

7. Have a you night. 

You won't have one for awhile. Remember those first couple months when they feed, poop, and want to snuggle pretty much all the time? There's another one now. :) It's gonna be hard to get time alone. So enlist a baby sitter, or the hubby, and take some you time. Shop(Or window shop), bath, eat a meal you didn't make, snuggle with your husband... whatever you do to have you recharge time. 

8. Go on a date with your husband.

Those first couple months are hard. Spend some time showering your man with love. Chances are he's gonna feel a little pushed aside as you struggle with balancing two babies, physically recovering, and exhaustion. Take him out on a date, make his favourite dinner at home, take all the time you can to snuggle with and touch him. Let him know he's your number one, even if you're the size of an orca. 

9. Take some time with your first. 

Soon there's gonna be two of them to take up your time. Take time to treasure your first. Chances they're gonna be pretty confused and frustrated when the new baby comes. And frankly, they're really little! They need to know that mommy still loves them. Take extra time to really engage with your child. They grow so fast. 

10. Enjoy it. 

So many people seem to forget this(me included). This is an awesome time in your life! You're having another baby! Yes, it's gonna be hard. But what worth doing isn't? You get two little someones to love on, you get to watch your body change and a miracle happen. Remember to enjoy it, even when you're so tired, sore, and frustrated you could cry. God gives joy even in the hard seasons, and there's lots to thankful for! 

Well that's it! That's all I got for now. :) I hope this was helpful! 

- Adele

When Grandparents are far away - Coping with Long Distance Relationships

It's always hard when grandparents are far away. My kids grandparents live clear across the country in good old Saskatchewan. It's a 2 day drive(4 with kids) or a nearly 9 hours including lay overs flight away. So you can imagine we don't see them often. 

Before I got married I had to come to terms with the idea that my parents wouldn't be there for my kids lives. Yes, they would be there as often as they could, but in all actuality, for the majority of my children's lives, my parents simply can't be there. 

Lately this has come to bear a lot. Wiggles is nearly 4 months now, and the last time my parents saw her, she was 1 month old. My mom struggles all the time to deal with the fact that they are missing her mile stones. Her little giggles and kicks, her smiles and snuggles. It's incredibly hard on them, and I didn't realize just how much I'd want my parents here until I had Wiggles.

Plus, Flash loves seeing grandma and grandpa. He adores the heck out of them. He tells everyone that his grandparents are from "Saskchewan" and that they came and saw him and they're the best. Every chance he has to bask in their love, he takes it. 

So how do we cope? Well, there are pretty much 4 steps. 

1. Travel. 

I try very hard to see my parents at least once a year. If that's me going there, or them coming here. More than that, is amazing. The more my kids get to see their grandparents and be spoiled by them, the better. This is also true for their aunts. And when their family is here, they spend every minute they can with the kids. I don't think Wiggles was put down the entire time her aunties or grandparents were here. And you know what? I didn't say "Put her down, she needs to learn to be alone." I said "Hold her more, she needs to know you love her." 

Plus, I just plain old miss my family. 

2. Skype. 

Lots of it. We Skype at least once a week. Get Wiggles and Flash used to seeing and hearing their grandparents. Flash gets so excited to see grandma and grandpa on Skype. Skype has the benefit of being real time, and video and audio. It's about as close to being in the same room as you're gonna get while being a million miles away from each other. Flash sits there and chatters with grandma and grandpa, and loves every minute. Wiggles sits there and stares in wonder at the people who know her name talking to her off the computer screen. Meanwhile, my parents and sisters get to watch my kids grow up through more than just pictures. Seriously, skype. Love it. 

3. Phone.

I talk to my mom... everyday. If I don't talk to my mom, it's a weird day. Here's the thing. She knows everything that's going on with my kids. She know every little cute thing Wiggles does, she knows every perfect test score Flash gets. It's important people. Phone your family when something cool happens. If they were here in the city, I'd have my mother here as often as possible to see her grandkids grow up. In lieu of that... I call every time I can. I put the phone to Elsie's ear, and she lights up when grandma and grandpa talk to her. Flash sits and chatters with grandma for as long as he wants, and he loves it, because he gets grandma all to himself. He doesn't have to share like on Skype. It's a special time for him. 

4. Pictures and Video

Especially when you are working with babies, who grow so fast, and meet milestones so fast... take lots of pictures and video. We do. And we coat facebook in them. It's one of those things. We video Wiggles giggling, Flash feeding Wiggles, Wiggles discovering her toes... Those things that kids do without thinking. I see Flash half falling off the couch while watching a show? Picture! Share with grandma! This not only helps the grandparents stay in touch, but it helps you preserve those adorable moments that you honestly? Can't get back. 

That's all folks. It won't be easy. It'll kinda stink in fact. But remember that it's not like even 70 years ago, where moving away meant snail mail. Nope. There are SO many tools you can use to stay in touch, you just gotta make the effort. And for the record? Keeping those grandparents involved? Worth every bit of effort. 

- Adele

Teaching our Boys to be Young Men

Lately I have been really convicted about Flash. He's six, he will be seven in less than a month. And I just realized... he's becoming a little man.

I know, all if you out there reading this are like, 'Duh Adele, that's why they call them boys.' But that's not what I mean. Think of all the things you expect to find in a man, a real man. Protection, strength, wisdom, provision, leadership, to name a few. And Flash needs to know these things. He needs, as a young Christian man, to start developing these traits. 

The world is not going to help him do it. If there is one thing I am convinced about, it's that the Devil has his eye on my children, and the world is the Devils tool. 

The world will do everything it can to convince my son that he doesn't need to provide for his family. The world will do everything it can to tell my son he doesn't need to be the leader in his home. The world will do everything it can to tell my son that God's wisdom is wrong, and that he should be following some self-made theory of morality and guidance. The world will do everything to make my son ineffective. 

Flash is a self proclaimed Christian. We have spent months watching his life after he accepted Jesus into his heart, and it has been amazing to see him grow and mature in his faith. He wants so much to learn, and this is amazing to see. 

At the same time as I see this maturity starting in him, I see another ugly character raising it's head. We have had to deal with questions like "Why do I have to go to work? If I don't, I'll get money anyways." He's talking about welfare. Impressing on my son the need for him to work hard at everything he does is difficult when everything around him says that he doesn't have to. That he'll get a free meal at the end of the day, simply because he was there for the ride. 

The Bible says : 

2 Thess 3: 6-13

Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from every brother who leads an unruly life and not according to the tradition which you received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example, because we did not act in an undisciplined manner among you, nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with labor and hardship we kept working night and day so that we would not be a burden to any of you; not because we do not have the right to this, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you, so that you would follow our example. For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either. For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies. Now such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to work in quiet fashion and eat their own bread. But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good.

Did you catch that? The man who does not work should not eat. This is a fundamental truth in the Bible. I have found myself more and more hunting down verses like this one, to teach Flash what he needs to know, but it seems sometimes like it's fighting an uphill battle. 

But this does not mean I don't do it. 

So I want to encourage you moms out there reading this: 

1. Don't trust the world to teach your children. 

Your children are your greatest mission field. They are young, impressionable, and oh so open to learning. 

Don't let the world get a grip in their little hearts. 

Satan is not going to be merciful because they are children. The world will not be merciful because they are children. Be diligent. Your children are taking everything in, use your influence as their mother to pull them away from the world and it's sin. 

1 Peter 5:8

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

2. Teach them the word.

Often, daily, every hour, every minute. 

Talk to them about God. 

Talk to them about his statutes and precepts. 

Talk to them about his mercy and his love. 

Talk to them of his judgement and strength. 

Talk to them about his sovereignty. 

Talk to them about Jesus. 

Memorize scripture with them. 

Read the Bible aloud to them. 

Anything it takes to get the word into those little hearts. Because right now is the time. You might think they're to young, you might think they don't understand. But if they understand even one of the twenty things you tell them in a day, that's still something. 

Det. 11: 18 - 21

“You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. “You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your sons may be multiplied on the land which the LORD swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the heavens remain above the earth.

3. Set an example.

These children are watching you. Closer than you know. Be their example. Read your Bible. Pray as you do your chores. Love the Lord. Be merciful and pure in conduct. Your children will see that, and it will speak louder to them than anything that comes out of your mouth. 

The conduct you set now will be the conduct they will pick up. You love to read your Bible? They'll learn to love it. You sin regularly? Sadly, they will pick up on that same sin. 

For women, it's hard to be an example for young men, because we are not young men. :) But know this, if you are example of a Godly woman... your son will want to find another Godly woman to be with when he gets older. The Bible says that a Godly woman will bring her husband around with her conduct. 

1 Peter 3:1

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.

Now, the context here is unbelieving husbands, but I think it fits with this concept as well. A wife who is living in the word, who is filling her role as a wife, in submission and grace, will encourage her husband to fulfill his role as a Godly husband. 

Your son will look for a wife like you. Set the example now. 

4. Love and submit to his Dad. 

I can hear it. I can hear the bristling skin as the women reading this read the word submit. It echoes through these pages even as I'm writing. 

But it's one of the few commandments given directly to women in the Bible. 

Eph 5: 22 - 24

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

This isn't conditional. It doesn't say submit if your husband loves you, or submit if your husband is a good husband. No. It says submit. 

And it will be  one of the strongest ways you will reach your sons. Loving his dad, submitting to his dads leadership. Why? Because this not only shows him what a Godly woman looks like... but it allows his dad to step up and set the example of a Godly man. And your son will, more than anyone, learn from his father how to be a man. 

Learn what it means to submit. It's not a bad thing. In fact, it's a very good thing. 

5. Never think it's to late, or to early.

So your kids are older, or maybe they're much younger. Only babies. Teach them anyways. Guard their hearts anyways. Start now. 

Your son is a teenager? 

Be a Godly woman, set the example. Guard his heart. Love his dad. Monitor what he watches on TV, take him to church, talk to him about God. He might fight you on it, but as much as he seems all grown up? He is still a child, in need of your guidance. 

It's never to late to make a difference. 

I wasn't saved until I was 18. Because someone took the time to really talk with me about God and what he expects from me. 

Your son is just a baby? 

Be a Godly woman, set the example. Love his dad. Monitor what things go into that little head. Guard his heart with that fierce ferocity only moms can muster. Take him to church. Sing Bible songs to him, talk to him about his amazing creator. Get in the habit now. Make it so he doesn't remember a time when God wasn't the focus of his life. 

Flash was saved as six, because every moment he was awake, Caleb and I talked to him about God. 

It's never to early to make a difference. 

Just my thoughts for the day,

Adele

PS: I'd love to hear how you are teaching your sons to be Godly men. 

Cloth Diapering! We're doing it, and loving it.

Okay, so I know, some of you are looking at this post and thinking, why would you ever cloth diaper? Touch poop? Ew. 

Wrong. 

I never touch poop. Ever. 

Yet I cloth diaper. 

Caleb and I made the decision to cloth diaper after a woman at our church started. She honestly makes it look super easy.  Caleb was drawn to the cost factor, and I was drawn to how cute it was. 

We got a bunch of cloth diapers for shower gifts, so we jumped in with two feet, and we've been using them since we brought Wiggles home from the hospital. And we  love them. Seriously. Love them. 

So I'm going to talk to you about cloth diapers in topics. Type, Ease of use/Washing, Price, and lastly, Other advantages/Disadvantages.

Type

We opted for pocket diapers. Which are essentially a liner, usually microfiber, and a waterproof cover with a slit on the one side. You slide the liner inside the cover, and then VOILA! It's just like a disposable. 

See? Here's an example of mine, one cover with no liner, one liner no cover, and one completely put together and ready to go. 

You slide the liner into the cover like this: 

Super easy. Definitely no worse than folding Wiggles' little tiny leotards. 

You can see ours are snaps. But they don't have to be. You can also get velcro, but I'm not that fond of them since they tend to wear out easier, and they get stuck to other diapers while washing. >.> Not cool. But we do have a couple that we kinda like, but I don't think I would go out and buy anymore of them. 

But. These are not the only cloth diapers you can get. A quick google search will show you that there are DOZENS of types of cloth diapers. Prefolds, which are essentially the old school diapers. You fold them and put a cover on them. They're cheaper, but more work than pockets. There's all in ones, which are essentially washable disposables. They tend to hold scents and things more, and some people have an issue with the idea that maybe a standard washing machine can't clean them properly, they're also very expensive. And those are just the beginning. The cloth diapering world is a huge one, and trying a little of this and that to find what you like isn't a bad thing. :) 

Oh! Another note. If you choose to do this, go with newborns for the first month. 

Here's a normal and a newborn side by side for size comparison. Normal sized diapers are made to fit most babies until they potty train. While newborns are made for tiny bums. :) We found that the normal ones on the very tightest setting didn't fit Wiggles until she was nearly 1 month, and even now at 4 months she can fit into the newborn ones on the largest settings.

Ease of Use/Washing

These are, in my opinion, the simplest diapers ever. All I do is stuff them when I fold them with my other clothes. They go on just like a disposable, then I put them in a wet bag, or throw them right down into the laundry room. And then to wash, I pull out the liner and throw all of it in the washing machine. One cold rinse, one hot wash with detergent, and an extra rinse at the end(which I can push a button on my machine for). Machine or sun dry. Easy as that.

 I have found that while Wiggles was exclusively breast fed, this was easiest. Breast fed babies poop is water soluble, so no rinsing involved. Now, people say when you start introducing formula/solids you need to rinse. I haven't found this. First off, Wiggles poops never really got 'solid' even after she started solid foods. They were always VERY liquidy and got absorbed right into the diaper with her urine. 

SO. My rule of thumb has become, if it's not absorbed, it gets a good rinse in my slop sink. I pull the liner out, dump the whole thing in my slop sink, and then turn the water on full blast. It takes care of anything solid left over, and then I pull it out with two fingers, careful not to touch ANY poop, and then I throw it in the washing machine. But most of the time it's absorbed. So it's all good. 

There's a lot of debate about detergents. Google it. People are opinionated. Very opinionated. Well, I have a  High Efficiency washing machine. So I can only use HE detergent. Which kinda limits my options. I'm also not paying $30 for a container of detergent. My solution? I use Sunlight Cold Water. :) Some cloth diapering mommas would crawl down my throat for that statement. But. I haven't had any issues with residue, and my diapers are still super absorbent, and Wiggles doesn't have any reaction to any of the scents or anything. So it works for us. My recommendation to all you cloth diapering mommas out there, do your research, yes. But if you have a detergent that you used before you realized you needed a special one, and it's working, stick with it. Everyone's water is different, and that detergent might be exactly what your water needs. For the record though, I've also heard great things about original Tide. 

Price

One of the best things about cloth is you can't beat the price. 

Pocket diapers have a double row of snaps on the front to shorten/lengthen them as your baby grows. This means they can fit from about 10 Lbs to whenever your baby potty trains. And, because they are washable, you can reuse them with multiple children. Very cost effective. But, let me break it down for you, for all of you who care. 

Disposables

Average Box of 200 disposables - $40 - On sale, no coupons.

Now, I don't know about you, but when Wiggles is in disposables, we can go through 200 diapers in about two weeks, maybe less. But let's be generous and say two weeks.

So! 

$40 x 2/month = $80 a month

$80/month x 12 months/year = $920

$920 x 3 years before baby potty trains = 

$2880

Cloth

Average price of a standard cloth diaper - $7 - $15

You need about 24 diapers to start with, maybe more, maybe less. But let's go with 24. 

$168 - $360 - Initial investment. 

+ $10 on our power bill per month x 12 months a year x 3 years before potty training = $360

Wet bag / Garbage bin for wet diapers = $60

Total cost = 

$588 - $780

And you can reuse them for multiple children, so your cost for the next child goes down to 

$360. 

To diaper them until they're potty trained. 

... Seriously. 

Now, we don't exclusively cloth. We buy about 1 box of disposables every 2 months. We use disposables for night time, because Wiggles is a heavy wetter, but we could just double stuff, I'm just lazy, and we use them when we are out and about, because babies can't stay in wet cloth for long, so they have to be changed more often, thus disposables are easier. But STILL. 

Other Advantages/Disadvantages

Well, cloth does have it's disadvantages. But it has some cool advantages too. 

First off, you'll change bums a lot more. Disposable diapers have special chemical crystals in them that whisk away fluid really fast. Cloth don't. So your baby feels when they wet a lot more. But the advantage to this, is babies who are in cloth usually potty train faster, because they feel their business more. Bonus. 

Second of all, washing. Compared to disposables, there's a lot of washing involved. And it can be kind of a pain in the butt when you are tired. The bonus is is you know what chemicals are touching your baby. And for those babies with sensitive skin, cloth is the way to go. 

The third disadvantage is diaper creams. You can't use them. At all. Because they're oil based, they get onto your diapers and cause they to repel. Which is kinda counter productive. The good news is, if you change regularly, your cloth diapered baby will probably never get a rash, because they're so chemical free. And you can also buy diaper rash cream online that's safe of cloth diapers. 

Other Advantage one? They're so stinkin' cute. 

Red, yellow, and Hello Kitty. >.> I also have black, orange, pink, purple, blue... If you can imagine it, the cloth diaper world has created it. Sure beats white and Elmo. They also don't have any weird scents like disposables. 

Overall

We love our cloth, and I totally recommend them to anyone who is brave enough to try. <3 Wiggles loves them, Caleb loves them, and they are cute. How can you go wrong? 

- Adele

Advice to Pregnant Moms Everywhere

So. Pregnancy. I can officially say, been there, done that.

And so, being the blogger I am, I'm going to tell you about it. Share in my own experiences in the hopes that your day is a little better for the laugh.

Pregnancy was the single most horrible and amazing and awesome experience of my life. It was mayhem and order, it was over flowing life and yet still not being able to get my acne to go away.

My first piece of advice:

Ignore the people who tell you how your body "should" feel.

I learned so well that I knew my body. When I felt something was wrong, it was wrong. If someone else thought something was wrong, and I didn't, I was usually right. Only you really know what's going on in your body. Each pregnancy is unique.

At the same time, that means listen to your body. If you feel something is wrong don't feel bad seeing a doctor. EVER. Even if you have seen them 4 times that week already. It's better you be a little embarrassed than something happen with your baby.

Treasure it. 

This time moves so fast. I know by the time you hit 25 weeks, you just want to be done. But remember those first couple days? Those amazing moments when you are so over joyed by the thought of being pregnant you smile all the time? Try to remember those when you feel like a blimp.

14 weeks post pregnancy, and I'm finally able to look back and miss it. I wish I had spent more time treasuring the fact that I was growing a baby.

Tell someone how you feel.

You will most likely feel weepy and like a blimp and like if you eat more more of the potato chips you've been craving you'll burst.

Tell someone. Keeping those feelings in in the name of being strong makes for a miserable pregnant woman.

Second piece of advice under this: Your husband is NOT the best person to get sympathy for over this. Try someone who has recently been pregnant. They'll sympathize enough to be understanding, and yet be at that stage where they can remind you to treasure it.

Take pictures. Lots of them.

We didn't. I think I have maybe one a month. I wish I had more. While you are pregnant, you will be gushing with life. Your smile will be radiant, your figure will be stunning, and your hair will look like a brand new Barbie dolls. Revel in it.

Get busy.

Do things. Get out of your house. Clean, cook, craft... whatever you gotta do to stay busy. If you mull around feeling sorry for your pregnant self, you'll be so frustrated by the end of the day it's insane.

Most of all... Smile. 

This season is only for awhile, and then you get a baby. Take the time to smile along the way as your body changes. Keeping a healthy attitude will help the time fly. <3

Remember, at the end you get one of these:

- Adele

Music Monday: It won't be like this for long

Lately I have been reflecting on how fast children grow. When I first met Flash, he had just turned 3. He ran across the church to his dad, screaming "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadyyyyy!" At the top of his lungs. Caleb leaned down and that little boy was in his arms so fast, you'd think the world was ending. They both had the biggest smiles on their faces, and Flash was chattering away about Sunday school. 

Now Flash is six, and just finishing grade one, and I am stunned by how much he has changed. He still runs across the church to see his dad, but it's no longer on chubby baby legs. He reads to us instead of us reading to him. He uses words like appropriate and humongous. He asks questions that I hadn't considered until I was 10 years old. Instead of needing help to tie has shoes, he helps me get the diaper bag and Wiggles ready to go out the door. Everyday he does something else that stuns me or melts my heart. 

And then Wiggles... she's three months old already. Three months. I look back at pictures of newborn Elsie and it seems... surreal. She has developed her own little personality. She loves people and sleeping on her stomach, and snuggling as she sleeps. She is so different, and it seems I blinked and bam! She's suddenly 3 months old. 

This song  makes me cry. Because its true, it wont be like this for long. I want to treasure every moment with our children. Because it wont be like this for long. 

- Adele

SAHM Saturday: Making Kids Feel Needed

Making Kids Feel Wanted. 

You know, lately I have been struck by how much Sam needs to be needed. 

He loves helping, and loves knowing that he has an important part in every family activity. He glows when he feels he is needed.

Now, this can be as simple as me letting him check off the items on our shopping list as we put them in the cart at the store... or going out of my way to play the helpless mom card and asking if there is any way he could do this for me, because I'm just not as strong as him as my big strong man. 

I think I have fallen into the trap before of believing that Sam just needs to know we need him, but doesn't need to have tangible ways he can prove he's needed, to prove that he is an important part of our household, and that we depend on him. 

I think as a boy who is just starting to learn that boys are different than girls, this is especially true of Sam. His father has been lately talking to him a lot about how to properly treat women, how men are to provide for their families, and work hard, and about Gods provision through everything. It's interesting to see that as Sam assimilates this teaching into his life, he naturally asks more if I've eaten(because of the baby), if I need anything, and if there's anything he can do to help. 

Now, his father is the same way, and in a very practical way, Sam is picking up on this and reflecting it back. As this happens I have found that Sam seems much more at ease around the home, and that he is generally a happier child. 

So please, take some time to let your child know you need them in the practical ways. Shower them with praise and let them know that they are indispensable to you. They will reflect that back with all the love and care their little hearts can muster. 

- Natasha

SAHM Saturday: Loving your Kids.

Lately I have been struggling a lot with being Sam's step mom. I suddenly have a lot more respect for those fairy tale step moms who fall and mess it up, because it is so easy. 

Because it's not always moments like these: 

Sometimes we definitely have moments like these: 

I find that sometimes I have a very bad attitude when dealing with Sam. Usually this happens when he's tired and argumentative, and I'm tired and cranky.  Which with being 7 months pregnant and him just starting school... happens a lot these days. 

Suddenly all those things that drive me crazy... he seems to do all that much more, and I respond worse and worse to them happening. I get snappy and vindictive, and he pushes more because he's hurt by me being so snappy. 

It's a truly vicious cycle. 

Now, this does not make Sam right. Children are supposed to obey their parents. 

'Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.'

Ephesians 1:6

But parents are supposed to treat their children with love and not entice them to wrath. 

'And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord' 

Ephesians 6:4 

'Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged' 

Colossians 3:21

I have been reflecting this past day about what that means. Don't entice your children to wrath. When I was a kid, I thought this meant my parents could never tell me no. Because it would make me angry. But that's not what this verse means at all. 

It means something much more important, and something much harder than simply giving in to your child's every demand. 

It means learning to keep a proper attitude, even your child is driving you crazy. It means getting to know your child intimately, knowing their hopes and dreams and fears. It means knowing their interests, and making them your interests too, just to spend time with them. It means loving them even you really don't want to. It means knowing when saying no is the right thing to do, and when it's just you being vindictive. It's knowing when to discipline them, and how to do it lovingly and without anger. It's being sensitive to their opinions and feelings when making decisions that impact them. It's treating them with respect as fellow human beings. 

And most of all, it's guiding them towards Christ with your attitude and conduct. Because you, more than anyone else in that childs life, influence them. They watch you, more closely than you can imagine. 

For all those parents out there who struggle with attitude, pray about it! God promises to give the grace for any situation, that includes raising and dealing with your children. I know I certainly will be praying for abundant grace in the next.. oh say... 15 years. :)

PS: Kudos to my husband who pointed this out to me and started this train of thought.

-Natasha

Occupying your kids: Beyond TV and Wii

Lately I have been personally convicted about how much Sam (That's him up there ^) uses his toys. He has a whole playroom full of cars, train sets, coloring books, various space guns and action figures... PLUS his bedroom full of playdoh, coloring stuff, smaller toys, and board games.

Which almost never get touched. 

Every time we go through his toys, we find toys he's forgotten he even had because he so rarely plays with them. 

Now, I understand that this is just as much, if not more my fault than his. Lately I have been very willing to let him sit down in front of the TV and watch power rangers, or play the Wii, simply because I know he likes it. In the meantime, his little brain is being sucked into TV world and his many toys meant to build creativity and independence are left forgotten. 

I have made it my personal goal to get him away from the TV more.

Right at this moment, Sam is upstairs playing with Play Doh. I can hear him all the way down here. He's singing to himself when he's not having an all out war with his play doh over the shape it will be in. This makes me smile, because he's singing his Johnny phonics songs from school, which is fantastic, because he's been struggling with letter sounds and reading. 

This would not be happening if an hour ago, when Sam woke up, I had not said, "No, you may not play Wii or watch TV this morning." And had not every fifteen minutes from then said "No, you have a thousand things to play with in the house, and it's a nice day out if you want to play outside or at the park. You don't need TV or Wii." 

He's since given up asking, and I feel a sense of accomplishment that I didn't budge. Now, granted, it's only one day. But this proves to me, this one day, that it's possible to keep him occupied not using the TV or Wii and not drive me crazy. Which means it will be possible in days to come to do the same.

Horray for small victories, 

Natasha

Home Making: A Lost Art?

I'll be the first to admit, I miss the days when instead of being looked on with disdain by all but other house wives... home makers were respected. When it wasn't a bad thing for a young girl to say "I want to stay at home, raise my kids, take care of my house, and love my husband, as I honestly believe God intended me to do."

Now, before that sends half of you off into the stratosphere, let me explain.

Yes, I honestly believe that God intended women to be keeper at home. So many references in the Bible talk about women at home.

Take for example:

Titus 2: 3-5

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Emphasis was mine.

Women are fully capable of having flourishing careers in a huge number of areas. But I honestly think that the family unit, and the woman herself, most benefit from having the woman at home. Now, I understand sometimes this isn't possible, for financial or health reasons. But I will also qualify that by saying, that maybe if you can't stay at home... consider cutting back your life style. It's well worth it.

Anyway.

I miss the days when you didn't have to defend that belief. I miss the days when it was... almost expected. I miss the days when a little girl learned to take care of a home and raise children while holding onto her mother's skirt.

I miss the days when the home was not viewed as a cage, but a woman's fortress. Her area where she ruled with a quiet certainty of what needed to be done, and no one knew the workings of it as well as she did, where her husband and children could depend on her to keep it, and with it, them, in good working order.

I honestly think that the art of homemaking... is a dying one. In the right circles you see it making a comeback, but more and more, you see young women turning to careers and putting off families all together to pursue other areas of their lives. And, if... if a young woman dares say she wants to stay at home and raise a family, she's branded a destroyer of women's rights, and is proverbially stoned to death by an onslaught of propaganda from all sides.

She is told that somehow this choice of hers undermines her value as a woman, and that she is wasting her life by frittering it away in the kitchen. That one day she will regret her decision, and that nothing she could do there will be as fulfilling as leaving the home and finding her fulfillment in a career. Not only that but she is told that she demeans woman kind as a whole by making this choice, and that this choice is contributing to a chauvinistic, paternal society where she is no better than a doormat.

What a load of bull-puckey.

A woman's choice is her choice. The fact that she has the choice to stay home is a woman's right. There is no way on earth that somehow her choice to stay home demeans her or anyone else. Staying at home and raising her children, she is a beneficially, working part of society. She is a laundress, maid, babysitter, teacher, chef, expert negotiator, and chauffeur. She works every minute of every day, as hard as she can, often without thanks or acknowledgement from those who benefit most from her labours. At the end of the day, she has created a loving, warm, happy environment that her family can call home. She has raised children who, God willing, are well adjusted, polite, hardworking, human beings who also contribute to society.

How is this any less important than having a career as a business woman? A therapist, a physical trainer, an engineer? Why are these skills held up in high regard when the skills that it takes to make a safe and happy home are devalued?

I honestly don't know, but I plan to teach my daughters the art of home making.

I want to teach them how to care for a home, how to raise children, how to provide food for her family, both in cooking and preserving, how to create an atmosphere of love in everything she does, and most of all, how to honor God with every word from her lips and every move she makes.

Now, please note: My sons will learn to. :P They won't really have much of a choice. But I will teach them what the Bible has to say about male and female roles, and I will teach them that neither role is in any way lower than the other, but rather that they are equal, but different in kind. Because this is true. And I strive always to teach my children the truth.

Still thinking,

Natasha