Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Saturday, 16 March 2013

SAHM Saturday: New baby? it gets better!



Elsie was born Dec 26, 2012. Wanna see a picture? I know you do! Here you go! 


She was born a healthy 8 lbs 6 ounces, 21.5 inches long. In 11 weeks she's grown to 12 lbs, and just over 2 feet long. 

My life was a whirlwind after Elsie was born. I mean a whirlwind. The last two months of my pregnancy were wrought with false alarms, nausea, and ridiculous amounts of eating... but nothing could have prepared me for the trial by fire of labor, and those first couple months. It's just now I'm starting to feel like my life has some routine and structure again. We've settled into a sort of routine. It's a little messy, and sometimes... it doesn't work. But most of the time, life goes on. Josh has been a huge blessing these last couple months. When I felt like my whole world was crashing in, he was there to show me the pieces weren't falling, they were just rearranging themselves a bit. He has really stepped up to the plate as a husband and a father, and I couldn't be more proud of him. 

Well, today I want to talk to those moms of newborns and say...

IT GETS BETTER.

With a newborn, it seems like your routine is never, ever, ever, gonna come back. Seriously. You wake up and it seems like you spend all your time nursing, or changing diapers, or cuddling a screaming baby. There's no set time, there's no rhyme or reason to it. Your house is a disaster and forget about home cooked meals, and you're so exhausted that even if you had a couple minutes where that little one isn't demanding your attention... you wouldn't have the energy to do them. 

Well ladies, I'm here to tell you: It gets better. Those first couple months will fly by, and then one day you'll wake up, you'll feed her... and then you'll put her down. Or you'll strap her into a sling, or a bouncy chair. Then you'll do your dishes, and do a spot clean. Then she'll be awake and want to play, so you smile and coo, and then turn on the Backyardigans, because they're bright and full of music, which her little ears love. You'll know you maybe have two episodes to fold laundry, and finish off those dishes, and maybe scrub your kitchen a bit, maybe if you're really lucky, you'll get a meal in there. Then she'll want to be fed again, so you feed her, and then nap time. But this time she'll want to be held, so take some time to work out your menu or do some blogging on your computer with her sleeping on your lap. Then she'll wake up smiling and happy and your heart will skip a beat because you look down at her... and you couldn't imagine loving anyone more. The rest of your day continues like this, 15 minutes of cleaning here, 20 minutes of holding her there... and tad dah, it's suddenly time for your husband to come home. Dinners maybe not made, but the house is kinda cleaned and the baby is happy. You look back and you might realize... today was a good day. And that lately, a lot of days have been good days! 

You found the rhythm again. 

It'll sneak up on you. Quiet like. 

It won't be one day you suddenly have it down. It'll be one day you pulled yourself up and forced yourself into working when you were exhausted. It'll be one day you listened to her scream for 20 minutes while you cried and did dishes because you knew it was okay for her to have a couple minutes alone, even if it broke your heart to hear her miss you. It'll be those moments when she first smiles at you, or gives that little belly laugh when she sees you. It'll be that time when you realize that she prefers you over everyone else. It won't be one momentous occasion. But that doesn't make it any less special. 

So hold on there new moms. It gets better. You won't always be frazzled, you won't always feel like a tornado hit your home and somehow you have to clean up the pieces, you won't always feel like a vending machine. I promise. Just hang in there a couple more days, and suddenly your days will be good ones again. 

- Natasha

Monday, 17 September 2012

Marriage


Marriage was the single biggest, and hardest, undertaking I have ever taken on in my life. It was even more so because as I married Josh, I gained Sam as well, making me a wife and mom in one fell swoop. 

Josh and I had talked about marriage for a couple of months before he actually popped the question. Actually, we talked about marriage on our first date, believe it or not. We were both looking for marriage, and honestly, I think it's the only way that we got to where we did in our relationship. There was no wondering about what either one of us wanted. There was just open honesty about our life goals, plans, and hopes. 

We started dating on Sept 21, 2011... I bought my wedding dress Dec 23, 2011, and he proposed January 5, 2012, in the airport after I got off the plane. 

We were married on May 19, 2012. We hadn't even been dating a year. 



So many people thought we were nuts. But Josh and I had known each other for nearly two years before we considered dating. We already knew each other very well. When we started dating, it was to see if we were compatible as a couple, we already knew we were compatible as people.

Adjusting to married life has been a very hard thing for me. I not only got married, but I left behind my home province, my immediate family, moved into my first home with my husband, and became a mom. 

Talk about difficult. 

I understand now why people say the first year of marriage is the hardest. It's totally different being married to someone as opposed to dating them. I know, duh right? But no, this is truly one of those things where you think "It can't be that bad right? The same thing I've always done.. just with someone else too. No biggie." 

Huge biggie. 

Marriage takes all your faults... and magnifies them. A thousand fold. All my stupid little quirks that I don't even notice... drove Josh nuts, and his certainly drove me crazy. 

Learning to talk things out, not just shut up about them was a hard one for me. My family had always dealt with conflict by letting things build up... then yelling and screaming and hurting each other way more than needed rather than talking it out like rational human beings. Turns out that doesn't work so well when your husband simply shuts down when you yell. 

For Josh, learning my limitations was hard. Being patient as I learned to take on all the responsibilities and demands of being a homemaker was hard for him, probably more than I know.

For both of us, it was hard to learn to sleep in the same bed with the other one. You don't think of such things when you say yes... but man, is it HARD to learn to sleep with someone else. Every little strange thing they do wakes you up. 

We both needed to learn how to love the other one in a way they understood. 

And we both needed to learn to take those couple minutes to just... talk. Even if it felt like there was nothing to talk about. Because without those couple minutes of connection, you can feel very alone even if you're living and sleeping with someone else. 

It's a long process... and so totally worth it. I love Josh more today than I ever thought possible, stupid little quirks and all. 

God truly blessed me when I married this amazing man. 
- Natasha
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