SAHM Saturday: New baby? it gets better!

Elsie was born Dec 26, 2012. Wanna see a picture? I know you do! Here you go! 

She was born a healthy 8 lbs 6 ounces, 21.5 inches long. In 11 weeks she's grown to 12 lbs, and just over 2 feet long. 

My life was a whirlwind after Elsie was born. I mean a whirlwind. The last two months of my pregnancy were wrought with false alarms, nausea, and ridiculous amounts of eating... but nothing could have prepared me for the trial by fire of labor, and those first couple months. It's just now I'm starting to feel like my life has some routine and structure again. We've settled into a sort of routine. It's a little messy, and sometimes... it doesn't work. But most of the time, life goes on. Josh has been a huge blessing these last couple months. When I felt like my whole world was crashing in, he was there to show me the pieces weren't falling, they were just rearranging themselves a bit. He has really stepped up to the plate as a husband and a father, and I couldn't be more proud of him. 

Well, today I want to talk to those moms of newborns and say...

IT GETS BETTER.

With a newborn, it seems like your routine is never, ever, ever, gonna come back. Seriously. You wake up and it seems like you spend all your time nursing, or changing diapers, or cuddling a screaming baby. There's no set time, there's no rhyme or reason to it. Your house is a disaster and forget about home cooked meals, and you're so exhausted that even if you had a couple minutes where that little one isn't demanding your attention... you wouldn't have the energy to do them. 

Well ladies, I'm here to tell you: It gets better. Those first couple months will fly by, and then one day you'll wake up, you'll feed her... and then you'll put her down. Or you'll strap her into a sling, or a bouncy chair. Then you'll do your dishes, and do a spot clean. Then she'll be awake and want to play, so you smile and coo, and then turn on the Backyardigans, because they're bright and full of music, which her little ears love. You'll know you maybe have two episodes to fold laundry, and finish off those dishes, and maybe scrub your kitchen a bit, maybe if you're really lucky, you'll get a meal in there. Then she'll want to be fed again, so you feed her, and then nap time. But this time she'll want to be held, so take some time to work out your menu or do some blogging on your computer with her sleeping on your lap. Then she'll wake up smiling and happy and your heart will skip a beat because you look down at her... and you couldn't imagine loving anyone more. The rest of your day continues like this, 15 minutes of cleaning here, 20 minutes of holding her there... and tad dah, it's suddenly time for your husband to come home. Dinners maybe not made, but the house is kinda cleaned and the baby is happy. You look back and you might realize... today was a good day. And that lately, a lot of days have been good days! 

You found the rhythm again. 

It'll sneak up on you. Quiet like. 

It won't be one day you suddenly have it down. It'll be one day you pulled yourself up and forced yourself into working when you were exhausted. It'll be one day you listened to her scream for 20 minutes while you cried and did dishes because you knew it was okay for her to have a couple minutes alone, even if it broke your heart to hear her miss you. It'll be those moments when she first smiles at you, or gives that little belly laugh when she sees you. It'll be that time when you realize that she prefers you over everyone else. It won't be one momentous occasion. But that doesn't make it any less special. 

So hold on there new moms. It gets better. You won't always be frazzled, you won't always feel like a tornado hit your home and somehow you have to clean up the pieces, you won't always feel like a vending machine. I promise. Just hang in there a couple more days, and suddenly your days will be good ones again. 

- Natasha

SAHM Saturday: Making Kids Feel Needed

Making Kids Feel Wanted. 

You know, lately I have been struck by how much Sam needs to be needed. 

He loves helping, and loves knowing that he has an important part in every family activity. He glows when he feels he is needed.

Now, this can be as simple as me letting him check off the items on our shopping list as we put them in the cart at the store... or going out of my way to play the helpless mom card and asking if there is any way he could do this for me, because I'm just not as strong as him as my big strong man. 

I think I have fallen into the trap before of believing that Sam just needs to know we need him, but doesn't need to have tangible ways he can prove he's needed, to prove that he is an important part of our household, and that we depend on him. 

I think as a boy who is just starting to learn that boys are different than girls, this is especially true of Sam. His father has been lately talking to him a lot about how to properly treat women, how men are to provide for their families, and work hard, and about Gods provision through everything. It's interesting to see that as Sam assimilates this teaching into his life, he naturally asks more if I've eaten(because of the baby), if I need anything, and if there's anything he can do to help. 

Now, his father is the same way, and in a very practical way, Sam is picking up on this and reflecting it back. As this happens I have found that Sam seems much more at ease around the home, and that he is generally a happier child. 

So please, take some time to let your child know you need them in the practical ways. Shower them with praise and let them know that they are indispensable to you. They will reflect that back with all the love and care their little hearts can muster. 

- Natasha

SAHM Saturday: Loving your Kids.

Lately I have been struggling a lot with being Sam's step mom. I suddenly have a lot more respect for those fairy tale step moms who fall and mess it up, because it is so easy. 

Because it's not always moments like these: 

Sometimes we definitely have moments like these: 

I find that sometimes I have a very bad attitude when dealing with Sam. Usually this happens when he's tired and argumentative, and I'm tired and cranky.  Which with being 7 months pregnant and him just starting school... happens a lot these days. 

Suddenly all those things that drive me crazy... he seems to do all that much more, and I respond worse and worse to them happening. I get snappy and vindictive, and he pushes more because he's hurt by me being so snappy. 

It's a truly vicious cycle. 

Now, this does not make Sam right. Children are supposed to obey their parents. 

'Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.'

Ephesians 1:6

But parents are supposed to treat their children with love and not entice them to wrath. 

'And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord' 

Ephesians 6:4 

'Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged' 

Colossians 3:21

I have been reflecting this past day about what that means. Don't entice your children to wrath. When I was a kid, I thought this meant my parents could never tell me no. Because it would make me angry. But that's not what this verse means at all. 

It means something much more important, and something much harder than simply giving in to your child's every demand. 

It means learning to keep a proper attitude, even your child is driving you crazy. It means getting to know your child intimately, knowing their hopes and dreams and fears. It means knowing their interests, and making them your interests too, just to spend time with them. It means loving them even you really don't want to. It means knowing when saying no is the right thing to do, and when it's just you being vindictive. It's knowing when to discipline them, and how to do it lovingly and without anger. It's being sensitive to their opinions and feelings when making decisions that impact them. It's treating them with respect as fellow human beings. 

And most of all, it's guiding them towards Christ with your attitude and conduct. Because you, more than anyone else in that childs life, influence them. They watch you, more closely than you can imagine. 

For all those parents out there who struggle with attitude, pray about it! God promises to give the grace for any situation, that includes raising and dealing with your children. I know I certainly will be praying for abundant grace in the next.. oh say... 15 years. :)

PS: Kudos to my husband who pointed this out to me and started this train of thought.

-Natasha

Occupying your kids: Beyond TV and Wii

Lately I have been personally convicted about how much Sam (That's him up there ^) uses his toys. He has a whole playroom full of cars, train sets, coloring books, various space guns and action figures... PLUS his bedroom full of playdoh, coloring stuff, smaller toys, and board games.

Which almost never get touched. 

Every time we go through his toys, we find toys he's forgotten he even had because he so rarely plays with them. 

Now, I understand that this is just as much, if not more my fault than his. Lately I have been very willing to let him sit down in front of the TV and watch power rangers, or play the Wii, simply because I know he likes it. In the meantime, his little brain is being sucked into TV world and his many toys meant to build creativity and independence are left forgotten. 

I have made it my personal goal to get him away from the TV more.

Right at this moment, Sam is upstairs playing with Play Doh. I can hear him all the way down here. He's singing to himself when he's not having an all out war with his play doh over the shape it will be in. This makes me smile, because he's singing his Johnny phonics songs from school, which is fantastic, because he's been struggling with letter sounds and reading. 

This would not be happening if an hour ago, when Sam woke up, I had not said, "No, you may not play Wii or watch TV this morning." And had not every fifteen minutes from then said "No, you have a thousand things to play with in the house, and it's a nice day out if you want to play outside or at the park. You don't need TV or Wii." 

He's since given up asking, and I feel a sense of accomplishment that I didn't budge. Now, granted, it's only one day. But this proves to me, this one day, that it's possible to keep him occupied not using the TV or Wii and not drive me crazy. Which means it will be possible in days to come to do the same.

Horray for small victories, 

Natasha