Why I Wear Skirts: My Thoughts On Pleasing Your Husband.

If you were to ever look at a picture of me... ever, you'll see that I wear skirts. Lots of them. All the time. I've had people assume that this was a matter of conviction. That I believe that in skirts lies the answer to modesty. 

It's not though. 

It has almost nothing to do with modesty. But it has everything to do with pleasing my husband. 

My husband likes to look at me in skirts. 

When he sees me in a skirt, with my hair down and my makeup on(It's a hard thing for a mom of two under 2 to accomplish people!), his eyes glaze over a bit, and then that look happens. That one that melts me right to the core, and I know that he is fiercely attracted to me in that moment. It has nothing to do with the skin I'm baring, or how tight my clothes are. It has everything to do with how in that moment, he knows that I am wearing it for him. 

Yes, I believe that for my body type, skirts are the most modest choice. I'm hippy and curvy, and pants always seem to grab in just the wrong places. But I could find pants that worked if I wanted to. But I want to please my husband, so I wear skirts. I hated it at first, but there are a couple of Biblical principles that changed my mind. And not a single one of them has to do with modesty. 

It has to do with capturing my husbands attention. Does this verse look familiar to any one? 

Proverbs 5: 18-21 (KJV)

18. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

19. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

20. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

21. For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings.

Yes, I realize this is a warning for men, but I think in there is a note for women too. You are to satisfy your husband at all times, and part of that is on him...  but I think part of that is on wives too! If you know your husband likes to see you with your hair down, let that hair go every once in awhile. If you know your husband likes to see you in blue... wear it. Find out what makes him look at you and think "I'm married to her. I can't believe God gave me her." Of course,  unless you are in your bedroom, stick in the realm of modesty here ladies. 

In our society, pleasing your partner has become a thing of the past. It's all about the bottom line, all about what I can get for me. What does it benefit me to run around in clothes that make it harder to chase after toddlers, or leave my hair down for Miah to pull on? It doesn't, but it does benefit my husband. 

Notice something that verse links to being satisfied with your wife? Not being satisfied with the strange woman. I want my husbands eyes to be so captured by me he doesn't have time to look at that woman who wore the yoga pants and to small shirt to run in. For the sake of his spiritual life, I want him to not feel the need to look. Men are visual beings ladies! Their eyes are drawn to look in the same way womens minds are drawn to fantasy. It leads them to sin. So help them along!

I can already hear the protests in the background! 

"But it's not my job to make sure my husband doesn't sin! It's his! I can dress how I want, I'm a 21st century woman! Do you want to send us back to the stone age?" 

I beg to differ. What if some of the responsibility does lie with women, with wives? What if being attractive to my husband is part of being a good wife? Sure, men are responsible for their eyes, but why shouldn't wives help? Now, am I saying you should wear a shirt that is to low cut to be considered modest because your husband enjoys your breasts? No, of course not. But maybe you wear his favourite bra and let him know it before you leave the house. He will be so distracted by the idea of that bra that hopefully he won't care about the other breasts that are constantly on display in our day and age. 

Captivate him ladies. He would have to a saint not to struggle to keep his eyes pure in this society. Help him keep them full of the one person he's allowed to look at without guilt. YOU. 

- Natasha

Biblical Womanhood Sunday: Appreciating my husband, 51 ways to show him I love him.

(Hey everyone, so this WAS written on Sunday. But then Wiggles got REALLY sick. Long story short, we went to the hospital, she's fine now, but my post is a little late.)

Appreciating my Husband: I fail so badly.

51 ways to show him I love him. 

You see this photo? There is a very specific reason I chose this photo for this post. It's not because I look great in it, or because it's some magical thing my kids did that I think the whole world should gawk at. No, I chose this photo because it, it's little bitty self, a bunch of pixels on a screen, so sums up my husband. 

He's got my daughter in one arm, his arm wrapped around my son with his other.. and his elbow is holding me up from toppling on the floor. And he looks so HAPPY to be right there, being the glue holding us together. 

That is who my husband is. He is the rock every person in my house leans on.

He is the smile on my childrens face everyday at 3:30 when he gets off work. He is play time, and prayer time, and that soft voice after they've been rebuked by his hard voice. He is snuggle time and love. 

For me? He is my rock. My calm in the storm. My voice of reason when my emotional side is out in la-la land ignoring half the facts. He is the one single person who I can honestly say gets me. All of me. Who knows my weaknesses, and who isn't afraid to tell me. The person who looks at me and in one question tears down my facade and sees where I'm struggling, and isn't afraid to poke a bit to get me back on track, especially when it comes to my spiritual walk. 

My husband is, I'm convinced, the entire reason God brought me all the way out to Ontario. Because the person he is making me... needs this man beside her. Not only as her mate, but as her friend, and accountability partner. This man, in all his craziness, draws me closer to the Lord everyday. Like no one else has. Through being with him... my being with Christ has become richer and more deep than any other time in my life. Why? Because HE leans on Christ. His whole world is permeated with the love of Jesus, and he wants nothing more than to see Christ glorified in my life. 

I love that about him. 

Now, here's the funny thing. I find it really hard to tell him these things. I find it really hard to sit down and express these things to him out loud. Sure, I can write them here... but practically putting them into actions is HARD. 

So this is my brainstorm if you'd like, of things to do for my husband to help him feel more appreciated. I'm going to make a list of 51. One every week for a whole year. And I'm going to do them all. Why? Because he deserves to know how much we love him. 

Some of these will involve our children, some not. I'll choose at the beginning of each week which I'm gonna do, and I'll cross them off my list. By this week next year, I'll have done all of them. I'll keep you guys filled in on the progress made. Please note: Not all of these will be things will be things that he will notice at first. Some of these things... are things that will just make his life easier. That's part of this. My husband works hard at a physically intensive job. Doing small things to make his life easier is one way I can show him I love him. 

Some of these are repeated. This is because these are things I know he really appreciates. 

1: Place at least one note a day around the house of things I appreciate about him. 

2: Send the kids to a babysitter for the night, make his favourite meal, plus his favourite dessert, and have us time. 

3: Have a 'I love Daddy' day with Flash and Wiggles. Make handprint Christmas ornaments, and write something they love about their dad on the other side.

4: Don't ask him to do anything the entire week. Let him walk in the house and do nothing but sit. If he offers, say no, he deserves to rest.

5. Enter every contest I can to get spitz(Sports team around here) tickets. Hopefully get some. Surprise him with a sports night for him and I. Don't complain of how long the game is taking. 

** If I can't get tickets, we will watch an nfl(Bengals) game at home, and I will make nachos and cheese, and try to cheer for the right team. XD

6. Make a solid effort to never interrupt him while he is speaking, the entire week. (I'm really bad for this and it's one of his biggest pet peeves.)

7: Have the house clean everyday when he gets home, no matter what it takes. He loves coming home to a clean house.

8: Give him back rubs. Do some research on massage. Give him one every night.

9: Get dressed up. Everyday. Do my makeup, get well dressed, shave, do my hair, everything. If he asks, let him know it's for him. 

10: Make him a coupon book full of favours and things he loves. 

11: Take time to cuddle with him at least once a day. 

12: Praise him verbally at least once a day. 

13: Make his favourite cookies. 

14: Clean the car out while he's at work. 

15: Find ways to touch him. His hand, his back... anything. Be extra aware of touch this week. 

16: Make all three of his favourite meals. have them ready for him when he walks in the door.

17: Don't complain. Let a whole week go by where only pleasantness passes your lips. 

18: Have a wii night with the kids. Talk to the kids before hand and let him choose all the levels and things. 

19: Send the kids to a babysitter for the night, make his favourite meal, plus his favourite dessert, and have us time.

20. Find ways to touch him. His hand, his back... anything. Be extra aware of touch this week.

21: Praise him verbally at least once a day. 

22: Get dressed up. Everyday. Do my makeup, get well dressed, shave, do my hair, everything. If he asks, let him know it's for him. 

23: Give him back rubs. Do some research on massage. Give him one every night.

24: Watch a game with him. Be interested. 

25: Kiss him. Everywhere. Anywhere. Take time at least once a day to kiss him outside of our normal good bye kisses. 

26: Get a babysitter. Have us time, even if that means just sitting on the couch and watching a movie cause we're so exhausted. 

27: Save up the pennies. Take him for dinner on me. 

28: Do a chore he normally does to make your life easier. For me this is laundry. It's hard for me going up and down the stairs while pregnant, so he does it. But he hates laundry. So I'll do it for a week, hopefully getting it all done, so he doesn't have to. 

29: Get up before he does and have breakfast ready before he goes to work. For those of us who are night owls, this one might be a big sacrifice. :)

30: Tell your kids the things you love about him. In front of him, and not. 

31: Clean the entire house as a surprise for him. Enlist the kids if possible, have them make a sign telling Daddy how much they love him. 

32: Let him nap. In fact, insist he naps. At least once this week. :) 

33: Spend a night watching his favourite show. Specifically one you hate. Don't complain, smile and like it. 

34: Don't ask him to do anything all week. Let him just relax. 

35: Let him nap. In fact, insist he naps, at least once this week. 

36: Make his lunches and have them ready for  him everyday this week. Go out of your way to make them special.

37: Praise him verbally at least once a day.

38: Wii night with the kids! 

39: Get dressed up everyday. Let him know it's for him. 

40: Have the kids help making a special meal for him. Set the table nicely, get the kids dressed up, have a meal you all love. Enjoy the night.

41: Take at least an hour every night to simply cuddle with your husband. A little physical touch goes a long way. 

42: Be extra kind. Be very aware of how you are dealing with your husband and children. Don't yell, don't snap. Let kindness permeate your life this week. 

43: Don't complain, let only pleasantness pass your lips this week. 

44: Have the kids make him breakfast in bed. Spend the morning cuddling as a family. Make a backup meal in case the kids meal turns out really bad. :P 

*****WARNING: These next things are sexual in nature. Nothing graphic, but lets be  honest wives out there, our husbands are sexual beings. To neglect these things from this list would be a shame. I debated a long time about putting these in here, but the Bible talks a lot about sex between husbands and wives, and God delights in sex in marriage, so we should too. So here goes.******

45: Initiate sexual activities. There really is no better way to let your husband know you still think he's sexy. 

46. Whisper to him how much you want him. At least ONCE this week. In public is better.

47: Wear something you knew he finds you unbearably sexy in. If this is underthings... let him know you're wearing them in a public place, or while he's at work.

48: Do something in bed you aren't super fond of, but he loves. Revel in it. Learn to enjoy it. Take pleasure in knowing that his pleasure is your pleasure. 

49: Tease him. Touch him intimately through out the day until all he can think about is you. Make sure to follow through at night. 

50: Initiate. 

51: Spend some time honestly talking about your sex life with your husband. Listen, don't take offense if he says something you don't like.

___ 

So there you have it ladies! My list! I'm going to start this next Sunday! I'll let you know how it goes!